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An adage says, “The thing that holds our affections holds our souls.” Whether the Chinese, the Christians, or the Chaldeans gave us this proverb, they were right on. The baptism of fire that our Lord speaks of is to quickly “burn off” all people, places, and things that hold our affections outside God's will. The Lord is pretty single-minded about where our affections should be lodged. Anyone, who has placed his affections on anything else besides God, is challenging God to put a permission slip in the hand of his enemy (Satan) to refine him and purify his intentions of affection.
“And he took a potsherd to scrape himself while he was sitting among the ashes.” (Job 2:8)
As in the Biblical account of Job, we see Satan is given a permission slip by God to sift and afflict Job. The enemy has been given the power to afflict Job in any manner, including disease, providing the affliction is not terminally fatal. What does he pick? Suspected leprosy, a disease involving nerve infection, boils, and ulcerated sores, is considered one of the most painful disorders known to man. If you have ever had a single boil (sore), you know how painful it can be. If you have ever had an infected boil, you know how quickly it can spread. Now try to imagine about 150 boils spread throughout your entire body – primarily to the feet, buttocks, face, and hands. Job had these ulcers from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.
Potsherd was a fragment of broken pottery – a homemade knife. The object was to remove the filth of accumulated infection that was layering upon each festering sore. Sitting among the ashes was a practice of forced humility and confession to the greatness of one’s calamity and sorrow. Back in the ancient days, people were accustomed to showing their grief by significant external actions, like sitting in ashes. It represented death (from dust to dust and ashes to ashes). Nothing could more strongly express the humility that comes with calamity. Here was a man of wealth, honor, and distinction sitting down in a pile of ashes, taking pieces of broken pottery and scraping the oozing infected sores that covered his naked body. It does not appear anything was done to bring relief or healing, nor any kindness shown in taking care of his disease – not even from his wife.
Here sat a man who was once sought after in a pile of ashes. Now, it would seem, he was completely separated and rejected by all - even those who claimed to “love” him. He was now a diseased man, whom none would venture to approach, and was doomed to endure his suffering without sympathy from others. I’m not sure which is worse - his physical pain or the sorrow of being completely alone. No children, grandchildren, servants, friends, or a committed and loving wife. Speaking of Job’s wife, what was up with her?
Job’s wife was no ordinary woman; she was the blood of Jacob. Her name is unknown. But in ancient versions of this passage, the English word for wife, in Hebrew, is diynah (daughter of Jacob). Can you imagine the sorrow she was experiencing? Day after day, she watched her husband suffer while attempting to process her grief: the disappearance of her earthly securities, the loss of ten sons and daughters, the heartache and sorrows of her womb, and most likely thinking that she had toiled laboriously in vain. Now she watched her beloved sitting among loathsome worms and ashes, passing the night in the open air, cutting on himself with earthenware, watching the sun go down upon his sorrow’s day after day, without any sudden relief from their God. I, too, would be tempted to be done with it all. I understand the spotlight was on Job, but Job’s wife shares his sorrow. Even though our women carry our sorrow for us in ways that are incomprehensible to us as men, it was the “curse God” portion of her speech that aroused the rebuke of her husband.
“But he said to her, ‘You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?’ In all this Job did not sin with his lips” (Job 2:10)
This tells me that Job’s wife was a good woman filled with wisdom and Truth. She was not a foolish nagging woman of her time. Her sorrow was overtaking her, and she wanted relief. Seriously, who would blame her? I have a faithful woman like this as the day is long. But mess with her husband, and you’ll hear about it. As with Job’s wife, she deeply carries the sorrow of her husband, children, and grandchildren. She, too, has had her moments of giving up. I, like Job, have been blessed with one of the daughters of Jacob. She is frequently the breath within my being when I have enough breath barely to breathe. So, I think I understand why Satan was not allowed to touch Job’s wife. God needed her to be the completer of Job during his great sorrow and use her womb to bless Job with seven more sons and three daughters. One of my favorite Scriptures in the Bible is: “And in all the land no women were found so fair as Job’s daughters…” (Job 42:15). I prayed this Scripture over each of my baby girls as God brought them into this world. You might have guessed; I have a ton of respect for Job’s wife. I have wept over her sorrow many times.
Now, Job’s “friends” are a different story. I call them his “fair-weather” fellows. These friends got the news their faithful and “beloved friend” was under some severe suffering. The first challenge was that wealthy men tend to speak through their wealth, exactly what took place in their dialogue with Job. No matter what is said about those with excessive money, wealth does tend to camouflage sorrow. When counsel is passed through earthly securities, it tends to turn lukewarm or emergent rather quickly. Job certainly learned this.
Why did Job’s comforters decide to come? The Scriptures tell us their initial intention was to “sympathize” and “comfort” him. I guess the question would be what the definition of comfort was to these so-called “friends?” Comfort means so many different things to so many people. To some, it is using pain to confront, while with the authentic, it is putting your feet in the fire with the one suffering. For wealthy people, hardship is typically a result of missing the reward. They’re inclined to believe something (sin) is stopping the flow of prosperity. They also tend to live based on the reward system: you do well, you get “good things”; you do badly, and “bad things happen to you.” These men came to comfort a barely recognizable man due to his disfiguring disease, and no words could bring comfort in such pain.
“When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great” (Job 2:12-13).
Friend One: I look back on my heart failure hospital experience at several visitors who had come to bring me comfort. While I was fighting for my life, the first was a young man who came to clear his conscience. He said, “I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you (death) before I got a chance to seek your forgiveness.” I smiled, he confessed more stuff, we prayed, and I never saw or heard from him again. To whom was he comforting? Was it me? Not really. In due time, I looked back at this as an enormous act of betrayal. For him, it was an obvious act of freeing himself from a life of guilt.
Friend Two: Another visitor came with yet another form of comfort. This one was from the land of wealth. After a period of silence, he asked, “Do you think there is something in your life that would cause God to allow this?” After I told him my heart failure resulted from a virus and that I didn’t want God to let up on this sovereignty act until I learned everything He had in store for me. A look of disappointment came over his face. It was as if he wanted me to suffer under the condition of “God’s rebuke.” Through this particular “friend’s” expression of comfort, his punishment of me appeared cloaked in the misnomer of “friendship.”
Friend Three: There was yet another kind of comforter who came to see me that week; those who feared what would happen to them if their “counselor” was dead. These “friends” came with words and gifts of comfort. But within a short period, the discussion turned toward their problems. While I am functioning on 11% heart function, on a heart transplant list, and gasping for breath, they started asking for counsel without delay. This group opened my eyes to yet another reality of true friendship. As in the case of Jesus’s disciples being asleep in the Garden as He suffered, I realized that the true friend is the One who lives inside the one who is suffering – Jesus.
Four different types of friends came to visit me that week, but the third was the most difficult to embrace. The first group: well, one can’t expect depth out of shallowness. The second group: I could appreciate his desire for freedom. But, the third: these people thought they were true and honorable friends. They feared what the cost would be like for them if I weren’t around. They suffered from the deception that they were close friends because they were close enough to get regular counsel. The problem was - I was caught up in the deception as well. I had to be shown by the Lord that I, too, found closeness and friendship in giving my life away. My grievous struggle came when group three took a hike. Yes. Full-on betrayal. When they discovered that I was not available for “regular” counsel, they were nowhere to be found. Sparse spiritual, psychological, or physical support was offered. In one of our moments of deep emotional need, one of my board members said, “Now is the time when you will discover who your real friends are.” After this experience, I hate to admit it, but I am a man of many acquaintances but few friends.
The fourth group of friends is who God used to sustain me & my family in the most difficult year of my life. These friends remain steadfast in our lives to this day. But, honestly, God shared some very intimate lessons in the first three groups.
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One of the critical points of interest I have learned to watch for in myself and others is: To whom and where does the blame get cast? Can Christians who have not experienced the Exchanged Life truly provide Christ as Life comfort and compassion? All these questions are reasonable questions begging for great answers. In the up-and-coming chapters, you will discover the kinds of prayers the Lord birthed through my suffering, as well as through the sufferings of others.
Next is #74, “Engaging Our Sufferings.”
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