Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Adopted Handicapped Girl Discovers her Idol is her Biological Sister Jul 11, 2015 | by Sara Yoheved Rigler...Who got the better deal? An incredible true story of two siblings

 

Adopted Handicapped Girl Discovers her Idol is her Biological Sister

 Adopted Handicapped Girl Discovers her Idol is her Biological Sister

Who got the better deal? An incredible true story of two siblings


Had I been in the hospital in Salem, Illinois, on October 1, 1987, when a baby girl was born without legs, my heart would have clenched in pity for this poor child, and my mind would have railed at the unfairness of her fate. So grotesque was her deformity that her parents chose to leave her in the hospital.

Three months later, Sharon and Gerald Bricker decided to adopt the baby. The Brickers already had three sons, ranging in age from 10 to 14. “It bothered me,” Sharon later explained, “that there was a little girl who was left at the hospital, and she had no legs. So I thought she needed a family who would love her and take care of her.” They named the baby Jennifer, and brought her home to rural Hardinville, Illinois, a town so small that it had not a single traffic light.

Gerald was a carpenter. Sharon had worked in a bakery, but was a full-time mother by the time they adopted Jen. What kind of couple adopts a legless baby? A couple who wants to give, love, and nurture. And that’s what they did.

If you're never given limits, then you think, "I can do anything.” And she did.

Jennifer grew up in a home thick with love and laughter. Her older brothers adored her. But neither her parents nor her brothers coddled her. “Can’t” was not part of the Bricker vocabulary. As Jen would later declare: “If you put your mind to it, you can do it. If you were never given limits, then you think, ‘I can do anything.’”

And she did. Alongside her three big brothers, she would climb trees, do handstands and flips, and jump from high places. Using her strong arms, she played softball, basketball, and volleyball, and became proficient in gymnastics and tumbling. Her parents constantly encouraged her, sometimes having to adapt equipment for Jen to play a particular sport. When Jen wanted to roller skate, her parents devised skates that she could attach to her hands.

When Jen was in second grade, she announced to her parents that she wanted to become a gymnast. Her idol was Dominique Moceanu, a petite gymnast whom Jen avidly watched on television. In 1995, at the age of 13, Dominique Moceanu became the youngest gymnast to win the senior all-around title at the U.S. National Championships. And at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996, Dominique, 14, won a gold medal with the other members of the “Magnificent Seven,” the U.S. gymnastics team. Jen was inspired watching Dominique, the youngest and the smallest on the team, a true champion.

Sharon and Gerald enrolled Jen in a gymnastics class, then a class in tumbling. Over the next four years, Jen won several tumbling competitions. When she was 12, Jen became the Illinois State Champion in tumbling. She also competed in three national meets and one Junior Olympic meet.

I’m not handicapped. That wheelchair is just to keep me from getting dirty.

With her positive, upbeat attitude and strong self-esteem, Jen was always accepted by her schoolmates. In the early grades, whenever a child stared or asked where her legs were, Jen answered matter-of-factly, “This is the way God made me.”

Once a child in her class referred to her as “handicapped.”

Astonished, Jen replied, “I’m not handicapped.”

“But you use a wheelchair,” the boy declared, to prove his point.

With the umbrage of an insulted adolescent, Jen countered, “That’s just to keep me from getting dirty.”

Enter Her Biological Family

Jen had always known that she was adopted. When she was 16, she asked her mother if she had any information about her biological parents. Sharon took out the official adoption papers. It was supposed to have been a closed adoption, but by a clerical error the name of her biological parents appeared at the top of one page. The name was “Moceanu.”

Jen’s biological sister was the Olympic gold medalist Dominique Moceanu.

“You had been my idol my whole life,” Jen wrote to Dominique four years later, “and you turned out to be my sister! I was in extreme disbelief… My uncle is a retired private investigator, and he got in contact with Dumitru, your father. He talked to your father, and he did not deny that I was their biological child, but he would not return my uncle’s phone calls after that. So we stopped trying to contact you for a while because I did not want to seem pushy, and I wanted to do this right.”
 

 

Worried that Dominique would think she was crazy or trying to cash in on the fame of a celebrity, Jen took four years “to do this right.” She copied all the relevant documents. She assembled pictures of herself, which eerily resembled pictures of Dominique’s younger sister Christine. And she wrote a long, heartfelt letter. Finally, as Dominique would later write, Jen “put her heart in a package and shipped it off to a complete stranger.”

Dominique’s reaction was shock – and anger at her parents for keeping this secret from her for 20 years. As a child, Dominique had longed to have siblings. She had no idea that, when she was six, her parents had abandoned their baby in the hospital. When she was eight years old, her sister Christina was born. “I treasured her from the day she was born,” Dominique wrote in her autobiography, Off Balance. “Christina was my everything, and I was so happy to have her.”

After getting Jen’s package, when Dominique confronted her father, he stated flatly that they were impoverished immigrants without money or health insurance, and a Romanian doctor at the birth told them that raising a handicapped child would involve large medical expenses. So he decided they could not afford it, and put the child up for adoption. And that was that.

As for Dominique’s mother, she painfully related what had happened:

Your father said that our little girl was born with no legs. I never saw my baby. I never held her, never touched her, never even smelled her. I desperately wanted to, but your father told me we had to give her up and that was that. … You know your father – once a decision is made, that’s the end of it. (Off Balance: A Memoir, page 23)

Two Very Different Childhoods

Indeed, Dominique knew her father. Born and raised in Romania during the oppressive, Communist Ceausescu era, Dumitru Moceanu was an abusive, controlling husband and father. Immediately after marrying 19-year-old Camelia, he, with his bride, immigrated to the United States. Nine months later, Dominique was born.

Behind the limelight lurked a dark, menacing shadow. Dominique’s father was an abuser.

By 1996, having won a series of gymnastic championships, 14-year-old Dominique had become America’s darling. She was featured in Vanity Fair and her first autobiography, Dominique Moceanu: An American Champion, hit #7 on the New York Times Best Seller List.

But behind the limelight lurked a dark, menacing shadow. Dominique’s father was a classic abuser: controlling, violent, and given to bursts of rage. As Dominique would describe him in her memoirs:

As a father and husband, he ruled our house with an iron fist. Decisions were made by him, obeyed by us, and explained by nobody… My home life throughout my childhood was turbulent, at best. Tata’s rage and temper tantrums took a toll on my family. We [she, her mother, and sister] often found ourselves hiding in separate rooms. I can barely recall a single holiday when my father didn’t make a scene or create some kind of chaos. We were always walking on eggshells. (Off Balance: A Memoir, page 21)

At the age of 17, Dominique ran away from home and filed for “emancipation” – to be legally and financially independent of her parents. It turned out that her father had taken almost all of her post-Olympic earnings from shows and endorsements – almost a million dollars. The high-profile court proceedings left Dominique free, but feeling guilty, pained, and humiliated, as she was denounced by the media, which blazoned the headline: SPOILED BRAT DIVORCES PARENTS.

Then, at the age of 26, married and expecting her first child, Dominique discovered that she had a sister she never knew. The most poignant parts of her memoir are her comparisons between the traumatic childhood she suffered and the golden, happy childhood Jen enjoyed:

As Jennifer describes it, her home life was stable and full of love and support. She says her parents had minor arguments and bickered here and there like any other family, but they always “talked out” their problems, so there was never lingering tension in their home.

Jennifer’s words, “talked out,” stuck in my mind. How I had wished my parents did more talking when I was young. I mostly remember Mama and Tata either arguing when they disagreed or not talking at all. And the tense moments in our home were far more common than the peaceful ones. Many of Christina’s and my childhood memories were plagued with fear, sadness, and occasional threats of violence. When I think about these painful times, I am happy for Jennifer that she had such a positive home life – and I can’t help but think that the Bricker home was a better place for Jennifer to grow up than mine was. …

During our first conversation, I found myself thinking, Thank God someone was watching over her, so she didn’t have to suffer like Christina and I did. (pp. 102-103)

On October 1, 1987, in a hospital in Salem, Illinois, a baby girl was born without legs. Her sister, born intact, became a champion Olympic gymnast, showered with fame and wealth. Whose life was blessed? Whose life was cursed?



In Prague, Jewish Tombstones Used as Paving Stones May 7, 2020 | by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller...A pedestrian square in the heart of Europe is found to be paved with Jewish headstones.

 

In Prague, Jewish Tombstones Used as Paving Stones

In Prague, Jewish Tombstones Used as Paving Stones

A pedestrian square in the heart of Europe is found to be paved with Jewish headstones.


Workers restoring Wenceslas Square, an imposing pedestrian area in the heart of Prague’s tourist district, recently made a horrifying discovery. When they lifted up the paving stones, they saw Hebrew inscriptions on the undersides. Many of the stones paving the square were from Jewish tombstones. Experts believe the tombstones were plundered throughout the former Czechoslovakia. The oldest of the headstones seems to date from 1877; the most recent are from the 1970s.

Wenceslas Square was last restored thirty years ago, in the 1980s, when it was turned into a pedestrianized area. Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev marked the completion of the Square by touring it in 1987, and since then millions of visitors have strolled through the area’s walkways.

Frantisek Banyai, a leader of Prague’s Jewish community, told reporters that the gruesome discovery highlighted the pervasive anti-Semitism of the Czech Republic’s former Communist regime. “More Jewish synagogues were destroyed in the area of the current Czech Republic during Communist times than under the Nazis,” he explained. “Anti-Judaism was official policy… to be Jewish was negative from any point of view….”

Before the Holocaust, Czechoslovakia was home to one of the most vibrant Jewish communities in the world, numbering 356,830 Jews, according to the 1930 census. I grew up hearing about its rich, vital Jewish community from my grandmother – she grew up in Vienna, but her large family came from Bohemia, a beautiful region in the west of Czechoslovakia. Grandma grew up spending her summers there, on a cousin’s raspberry farm, hiking in the breathtaking countryside and visiting with her many relatives who ran agricultural businesses and stores in small towns across Czechoslovakia.

Out of her entire large family, only a handful of relatives survived the Holocaust. Those few Jews who remained in Czechoslovakia after World War II faced intense persecution from the Communist regime. Today, fewer than 7,000 Jews remain in all of former Czechoslovakia. Czechoslovakia split into two separate nations in 1993: Slovakia and the Czech Republic. Today, just 3,900 Jews call the Czech Republic home, and about 2,600 Jews live in Slovakia.

Under Communism, Jewish life continued to be repressed and individual Jews were often persecuted. With the end of Communism, memorials and museums dedicated to remembering Jewish life in Czechoslovakia have proliferated. In 2015, the Czech Republic unveiled a Holocaust memorial in Prague, marking the 71st anniversary of the mass murder of 4,000 Czech Jews in Auschwitz. It joined other memorials and museums in the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and elsewhere.

Prague’s Old Jewish Cemetery, photo: Gerrigje Engelen

The tombstones found in Wenceslas Square will be used to form yet another memorial, slated to be built in Prague’s Old Jewish Cemetery. The Old Jewish Cemetery in Prague is a national treasure. Dating from the Middle Ages, it’s thought to hold the bodies of over 100,000 Jews. Among the famous Jewish figures finding their final resting place there are Rabbi Judah Loew, known as the Maharal of Prague (1520-1609) – the famous rabbi who legend says built the “Golem”, a monster that defended Jews from anti-Semitism. Despite the great historical significance of Prague’s majestic Old Jewish Cemetery, it was desecrated by the country’s Communist leaders, who destroyed much of it to build first a public park, then erected a massive television tower on the site. 

“These memorials serve a crucial purpose,” explained Rabbi Chaim Koci, a senior Prague rabbi, when news of the Jewish tombstones found in Wenceslas Square came to light. Memorials to the plight of Jewish lives under Nazism and Communism “remind the world of Nazi genocide and other forms of anti-Semitism,” Rabbi Koci declared.

Perhaps these stones serve a deeper purpose. Finding Jewish tombstones used as paving stones in the very heart of one of Europe’s most beautiful capitals is a timely reminder that beneath every street in Europe lies Jewish blood. The persecution of the Holocaust and Communism wasn’t so long ago, and while memorials and museums do serve a crucial purpose in helping us remember, the most effective tribute is to be found in the city’s bustling synagogues and several kosher restaurants, in its two Jewish schools and among the many Jews who are rediscovering their Jewish heritage and traditions after years of Communist suppression.

Stone memorials have their place, but to truly understand the miracle of Jewish history, the best tributes in Prague – and elsewhere – are the beautiful dining room tables where, once again, Czech and other Jewish families celebrate Shabbat.

While writing this, I took out my grandmother’s yellowing pages to read about her life in Czechoslovakia long ago and about her many relatives who lost their lives to the Nazis. Leafing through her memoirs, I’ve been struck by how familiar many of the names are: my children carry the same names of many of these relatives. In a sense, they are living tributes – flesh and blood memorials to these long lost Jews. Each time my children – and other Jewish children and adults around the world – study Jewish subjects, say Hebrew blessings, recite timeless Jewish prayers, enjoy Shabbat and holiday meals, they are carrying on this legacy in a way that no memorial can ever do.

As the newly discovered Jewish tombstones in Prague are finally given the respect and honor they deserve, let’s all remember the unknown Jews whose final resting places were desecrated in this way – and strive to honor their memories by living as full and beautiful a Jewish life as we possibly can.



My Debt of Gratitude to Rabbi Abraham Twerski Feb 3, 2021 | by Chaya Parkoff print article

 

My Debt of Gratitude to Rabbi Abraham Twerski

My Debt of Gratitude to Rabbi Abraham Twerski

Thanks to the rabbi, I felt comfortable going to a 12-step program that paved my way to recover from an eating disorder.


The death of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski hit close to home for me, as it was he who paved the way for Jews to feel comfortable participating in 12-step programs. My recovery from my eating disorder at age 20 was through a 12-step program, and I ran out of the first meeting I went to. It was uncomfortable enough that the meeting was in a church basement (back then pretty much all 12-step meetings were held in rooms in churches), but then they talked about God! Being raised as a chicken-soup-and-bagels-and-lox Jew, it was only my Christian friends who actually talked about God. Jews certainly didn’t. So I ran out of that meeting thinking it was some kind of missionary ploy.

But through Rabbi Twerski’s book Living Each Day and his support of the organization “JACS” (Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others), that made Jews of all stripes and colors more comfortable seeking recovery from the 12-step programs. And it was the 12-steps that ultimately led me to my deep love and commitment to living a Torah-observant life.

Rabbi Twerski was a brilliant and compassionate rabbi and psychiatrist who wrote numerous books on self-esteem and personal growth. He was also one of the first rabbis to speak out against domestic abuse and violence, writing the trailblazing book The Shame Borne in Silence: Spouse Abuse in the Jewish Community. He knew what needed to be done, and did it.

And wherever Rabbi Twerski went or spoke, whether in a Jewish or non-Jewish setting, he always proudly wore his Chassidic garb, long grey beard and all.

Not only did he teach us so much during his precious 90 years of life, but he even taught us in his death. Rabbi Twerski had requested that there be no eulogies at his funeral. Instead he asked that he be escorted to his final resting place with people singing the niggun (Jewish song) he had written many years ago for his brother’s wedding. The now famous song, fondly known as “Hoshea Es Amecha” is taken from Psalms 28:9:

Hoshia et amecha uvarech et nachalatecha ur’eim venasseim ad ha’olam.
Save Your people, and bless Your inheritance and tend them, and carry them forever.

I don’t know why Rabbi Twerski made the request for this song to be sung at his funeral, but I would like to suggest three possible lessons we can learn from this.

At his own funeral, Rabbi Twerski demonstrated the character trait of humility. Instead of having the focus of his funeral on him, with people eulogizing him and praising his accomplishments, he chose to place the focus on God and the Jewish people, because Rabbi Twerski knew he was a part of something much bigger than himself.

The words are a prayer to God for the Jewish people. These words remind us that we are one people, something important to remember. Our greatest accomplishment – receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai – only occurred because the Jewish people were united.

The Torah teaches us not to count people. People are not numbers. Since this sentence has 10 words, when counting a group of people to see if there is a minyan, a quorum of 10, the words of this verse are recited instead of numbers.

It is no coincidence that Rabbi Twerski chose these words. A man who wrote so many books on self-esteem and the importance of every individual, the message in counting people with words of a psalm is:

You matter! You cannot be reduced to a mere number.

Every human being is created in the image of God. Inherent in this truth is that your self-esteem is not up for debate; you have intrinsic worth. Do we all have things that we have done or said that we are not proud of? Of course. Do we all have areas of our lives that could use improving? For sure. This is the work of a human being – to make ourselves into a more Godly being by living in concert with our soul’s desires. But our self-esteem should never be up for debate, by anyone, especially ourselves!

Rabbi Twerski, we will surely miss you. I pray that we can take what you have taught us and live as better people and as a unified people.



aish.com... CURRENT ISSUES California Is Cleansing Jews From History California Is Cleansing Jews From History The state’s proposed new ethnic studies curriculum is even worse than you imagined. by Emily Benedek

 

CURRENT ISSUES
 
 California Is Cleansing Jews From History 
 California Is Cleansing Jews From History 
 The state’s proposed new ethnic studies curriculum is even worse than you imagined. 
 by Emily Benedek 
 

In the fall of 2016, California’s then Gov. Jerry Brown signed into law a mandate to develop an ethnic studies program for high schools in California. California’s public schools have the most ethnically diverse student body in the nation, with three-quarters of students belonging to minorities and speaking over 90 languages. Luis Alejo, the Assembly member who shepherded the bill through the 15 years required for its adoption, hailed the law, the first in the nation, as an opportunity to “give all students the opportunity to prepare for a diverse global economy, diverse university campuses and diverse workplaces,” adding, “Ethnic studies are not just for students of color.”

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No Wonder They Need That Wall Around the US Capitol

 

No Wonder They Need That Wall Around the US Capitol

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Is everyone having fun now that it looks like we’ll be living under ridiculous COVID rules for the rest of eternity, or at least until every small business in the US is crushed? This photo (and meme) was from the actual announcement when Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer imposed new mask and social distancing rules while inside the House and Senate.

Pelosi looks like she needs to back to the salon and get her hair fixed again. You know, the salon that’s actually closed for regular people like you – but opens just for her? Not that there’s anything hypocritical about that!


It also provides a handy excuse to try to shut Republicans up on the House and Senate floor if they forget to put on a mask because they think the whole thing is pointless theater. Never mind the fact that to date, 69 Members of Congress have caught the bug and recovered. Since they’re immune now, do you suppose they get an exemption from wearing a pointless mask?

Not a chance! Because Nancy and Chuck are following the science, you bigoted science deniers!

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