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Clinging to God in Seasons of Disappointment
How to trust God’s promises when your deepest desires remain unmet.
Psalm 37:4 offers a beautiful promise “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Yet what do we do when those desires remain unfulfilled? What happens when you are genuinely seeking God praying, obeying, delighting in Him and still your heart aches for something good that never comes?
This is a reality many believers face. Creation itself, Paul reminds us, is “groaning” with unfulfilled longing (Romans 8:22). The question is not whether disappointments will come, but how we respond to them.
One woman’s story illustrates this struggle powerfully. At 52, she walks with a cane after surviving a severe accident that left her in a months-long coma and required years of therapy. She has prayed for decades to be married, yet remains single and has never even been kissed. Her question is raw: “Does this mean I’ve been refined only for God? Am I misunderstanding His promises?”
When Longings Go Unmet
The truth is, every Christian carries unfulfilled desires of some kind a marriage that is not what we hoped for, a child who has wandered from faith, a career that never took shape, a health crisis that lingers.
We read promises like “Ask, and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7), and “No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11), and we wonder if our unanswered prayers mean something has gone wrong. Yet the Bible itself gives us examples of faithful people living with “unanswered” longings.
Paul pleaded three times for God to remove his “thorn in the flesh,” but the answer was no because Christ’s power was made perfect in his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8–9). In the end, Paul found contentment in what God had chosen for him, because Christ Himself became his deepest satisfaction (2 Corinthians 12:10).
This is a profound truth for us: when God says “no” or “not yet,” He invites us into a deeper joy one that isn’t dependent on circumstances, but on His presence.
Learning to Trust Again
How do we live with this tension, year after year?
1. Cast your burden daily.
Unfulfilled desires are heavy burdens. If we try to carry them alone, they will crush us. Scripture tells us, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you” (Psalm 55:22). Every morning, we can come to God and say, “Father, my heart aches for this longing. But You are wise, good, and loving. I roll this burden onto You again today. Show me how to walk in freedom.”
2. Resist the temptation to wear your pain as a badge.
It’s easy to let disappointment shape how we present ourselves to others, subtly trying to communicate how hard our lives are. But the Spirit calls us to maturity to acknowledge our longings before God and a few trusted friends, while still choosing to live a life marked by joy.
Christian maturity does not deny sorrow, but it refuses to let sorrow define us. It is possible to taste unfulfilled desires and still live a life full of purpose, friendships, ministry, and hope.
3. Recognize God’s deeper promise.
Sometimes, our deepest longing is not ultimately for marriage, health, or success it is for a life that matters, a life that reflects God’s worth. And God promises to give us that. He promises Himself.
As Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Even when we do not receive what we hoped for, we can trust that God is giving us what is best for our souls both now and for eternity.
Living With Hope
Many faithful believers have lived full, joy-filled lives while carrying unmet desires. Think of the single women who devoted their lives to missionary work Amy Carmichael, Mary Slessor, Gladys Aylward, and others. Their lives weren’t defined by what they lacked, but by what they pursued: the glory of Christ.
Our hope is not in getting everything we want in this life. Our hope is in a God who promises us Himself. Psalm 16:11 reminds us, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
So, to the one whose heart is breaking from unmet desires, remember this: You are not forgotten. God is not withholding good from you. He is shaping you for something eternal.
Every day, roll your burdens onto Him. Ask Him for strength to live fully, even with a “melancholy note” in your life’s symphony. And trust that the joy He has prepared for you will one day outshine every earthly disappointment.
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Reply
Freddie McNabb • 6 hours ago
I feel for that woman because I know what she is going through. I have a disability, have many unfulfilled desires, and feel like not only God but also friends and family have abandoned me. In fact, the people closest to me oft did things that seemed to intentionally place stumbling blocks in my path. Given the promises mentioned in the Bible and unmet expectations and dreams that didn't come true, I often wonder if God exists, whether Bible is just full of lies, or perhaps God is a celestial butthole. So, I have a very difficult time just giving this to God. I don't believe He cares when I see complete assholes having the life I wanted while I have to take care of the very people who made my life miserable. Sorry, your religious platitudes don't help.
Keith Wright • 3 hours ago
Freddie, I understand your anger and disappointment, but your are completely missing the truth of the Bible. We are only here in the physical, natural World for a pin prick in time. True life is ahead, it's eternal, that is never ending. God never promised anyone that they would have a wonderful life in this world, in fact the Bible tells us the opposite. We are warned that we will likely have to suffer whilst we are here, just as Jesus and the early disciples did. Suffering, is the result of the curse brought upon all creation through the Fall of perfection into sin. Satan is the ruler of this world and his desire is to steal, kill and destroy all that is of our one true God.
Keith Wright • 3 hours ago
If you hold on to your faith in Jesus then you will be resurrected and clothed in a new body, a supernatural body designed to live an eternal life wherethere is no longer any death, pain, illness, heartache, disappointment, anger, tears .... that is God's promise. Brother, or those of us who suffer much in this world for God's glory will also be rewarded greatly in Heaven.
Jacqueline Pope • 16 minutes ago
Hi Freddie, I feel for that woman and you. Late one night there was a knock on the door by a police officer who told me that my husband was in a bad car accident. His friend, the driver died on impact, but he was alive. I left my five children home (10-16) as I left to go to the hospital. I was praying all the way to the hospital that he would survive. We were able to talk and I was assured in my heart that he would not die. For two weeks every day I went to see him, but then he started going downhill. One day sitting in the waiting room, a code was called and it was him. He did not make it. I was left with my children to raise by myself. I cried for a long time asking why and the Lord spoke to my heart giving me a peace I could never explain. I ask the Lord to give you the peace that passes all understanding. Surround yourself with people who love God and connect with someone that you can confide in who loves him.
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