The Weight God Allows
Becoming the kind of person others can trust in their darkest hours begins with humility, kindness, and godly wisdom.
It is no small thing when someone entrusts you with their deepest pain. When they allow you into their inner world of emotional anguish depression, trauma, suicidal thoughts, sexual confusion, spiritual despair it is an honor of sacred weight. And for those of us who are not trained counselors or therapists, it can feel like an overwhelming responsibility.
But here’s a powerful truth you don’t need to be an expert to be a caring presence. In the body of Christ, each of us is called at times to walk with the suffering, to offer hope in the valley, to be a reflection of the God of all comfort. If someone in agony turns to you, it’s not by accident. It’s an invitation to embody the heart of Christ.
So, how do we become the kind of person others feel safe turning to? What does it look like to handle the agony of another with care? We find a simple but profound framework in Micah 6:8:
"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"
Let’s explore what humility, kindness, and justice look like in this deeply human ministry.
1. Walk Humbly
Humility is the foundation of all effective soul care. Jesus Himself described His heart as "gentle and lowly" (Matthew 11:29). That wasn’t just a theological description—it was something people could feel. Burdened souls came to Him because He was approachable, safe, and free of harshness. And if we want to be the kind of person someone runs to in their pain, we need that same lowliness.
To walk humbly is to remember that we are just as broken, just as dependent on grace, just as needy as the person we are trying to help. It means we don't rush to fix, explain, or impress. It means we become safe spaces of gentleness, patience, and listening.
Hebrews 5:2 puts it this way: “He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness.” The best soul care starts with shared weakness not superiority.
2. Love Kindness
Scripture is clear: kindness matters. “Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). “Put on then... compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12). And Exodus 34:6 tells us that the Lord abounds in lovingkindness.
Kindness isn’t mere niceness. It’s the deeply felt commitment to show mercy, to withhold judgment, to offer tenderness. It’s the choice to be present without fixing, to stay in the discomfort with someone rather than escape it with clichés.
Romans 2:4 says it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance not His arguments or His rebukes. If kindness is what draws us back to God, then kindness is what will draw others to us in their brokenness.
3. Do Justice
To “do justice” means to act wisely, rightly, and honorably especially when someone entrusts you with their suffering. This requires discernment, caution, and courage.
Be careful with your words. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. In moments of vulnerability, words have weight. Listen more than you speak (James 1:19). Ask thoughtful questions. Don’t rush to interpret or advise.
Be truthful. Don’t pretend to understand what you don’t. If you can relate, share gently. If not, say so. And if the person needs more help than you can give, guide them toward someone who can help. Our role is not to solve every problem, but to be faithful and honest in our part of the journey.
Be trustworthy. Proverbs 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” When someone shares their pain, guard it. Don’t speak carelessly about it, even in prayer requests or hypothetical stories. Only in cases of serious safety concerns should confidentiality be broken—and even then, do it with integrity.
Hope Is the Aim
The goal of Christian soul care is not to provide all the answers. It’s to offer hope. Hope that God is near (Psalm 34:18). Hope that He is working all things even this for good (Romans 8:28). Hope that peace is possible, even in deep suffering (Philippians 4:7). Hope that joy will return (Psalm 30:5).
In other words, our aim is to help a suffering brother or sister say with the psalmist, “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him” (Psalm 42:11).
When Care Begins
You don’t need a degree or a platform to be entrusted with agony. You just need to be the kind of person others sense they can trust humble, kind, careful, truthful, safe.
The church doesn’t need more experts; it needs more gentle saints who will sit beside the brokenhearted and hold the weight of their pain with holy reverence.
So if someone confides in you, thank God for the privilege. It’s not small. It’s not accidental. It’s sacred.
And then, be the kind of presence that leads them slowly, gently, honestly toward the hope that only God can give.
If this spoke to you, share it with someone who cares deeply or subscribe to our newsletter to get more reflections on walking with others in love and truth.
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