The Struggle to Love A Christian Perspective
The difficult, Spirit-empowered path that leads to true love and lasting joy.
Why do Christians, of all people, often struggle to love one another? It’s not a question posed by critics alone it’s one that echoes in the hearts of believers who wrestle with the logs of lovelessness in their own eyes.
We expect fallen humanity to struggle with love as described in 1 Corinthians 13. After all, how can sinful, unredeemed hearts truly bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things? Yet what surprises and humbles us is how difficult love can be even for those who have been born again, received new hearts, and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit.
Shouldn’t it be easier for Christians to love? The short answer is no. And both the New Testament and two thousand years of church history bear witness to why.
The Spirit as Helper, Not Magician
When Jesus promised the Holy Spirit, He did not promise instant perfection. The Spirit comes as our Helper (John 14:26), leading us down a lifelong, often painful path of transformation. He enables what would otherwise be impossible: for weak, sinful people to love like Jesus. But He does not bypass the process. There are no shortcuts.
The Spirit empowers us to walk the path, but we must still walk it. The transformation into Christlike love is not magic; it is a holy struggle, requiring daily surrender and dependence.
The Paradox of Jesus’s Yoke
Didn’t Jesus say His yoke is easy and His burden light (Matthew 11:28–30)? Yes. And yet He also said the way is narrow and hard that leads to life (Matthew 7:14). These are not contradictions but two dimensions of the same truth.
When it comes to our salvation being reconciled to God Jesus does all the heavy lifting. Our debt is fully paid by His sacrifice (Colossians 2:14). In this sense, His yoke is indeed easy. But when it comes to our sanctification being conformed to His image the way is hard.
As we walk in "the obedience of faith" (Romans 1:5), learning to live by the Spirit rather than the flesh (Galatians 5:16), we discover that true love costs us. This is not because God is cruel but because dying to self is the only way to find real life.
Why Love Remains Hard
Consider what Christlike love demands:
Denying ourselves and taking up our cross daily (Matthew 16:24).
Putting to death what is earthly in us (Colossians 3:5).
Dying daily to sin, preferences, and even freedoms for the sake of others (1 Corinthians 15:31).
Counting others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
Bearing with one another, forgiving one another, as the Lord forgave us (Colossians 3:12–13).
Repaying no one evil for evil but always doing good (1 Thessalonians 5:15).
Rejoicing always, praying constantly, giving thanks in every circumstance (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18).
Loving even our enemies (Matthew 5:44).
Wrestling against spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12).
This is merely a sampling, but it paints a clear picture: love, as God defines it, confronts every selfish instinct, every earthly desire, and every sin that still wages war within us.
It’s Meant to Be Impossible Without God
When the disciples saw how high Jesus set the bar, they responded, “Who then can be saved?” (Matthew 19:25). And Jesus answered, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
Christ-like love isn’t hard simply because we lack effort. It’s impossible apart from the Holy Spirit’s power. Our flesh resists, our selfishness clings tightly, and our remaining sin demands comfort and control.
Without the Spirit, we cannot consistently love like Jesus. But with Him, we can. As we fix our eyes on Christ, beholding His glory, we are gradually transformed from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18).
The Hard Way Is the Abundant Way
Why does God make the path of love so difficult? Because dying to self is the gateway to the abundant life Christ promises (John 10:10). Living by the flesh leads to death; putting sin to death leads to life (Romans 8:13).
When love feels hard and it will we must remember: God has not called us to comfort but to conformity to Christ. Each sacrifice, each surrender, each act of patient, costly love is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory far beyond comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Stay Focused on Your Own Cross
When we grow discouraged by the failures of others, or by the church's imperfect love, Jesus's words to Peter can steady us: “You follow me” (John 21:22).
We are not called to carry the church’s collective failures on our backs. We are called to take up our own cross, daily deny ourselves, and follow Him trusting that the Spirit is working even through our weak, imperfect steps.
By This, They Will Know
If we are willing empowered by the Spirit, sustained by grace to walk this difficult path of self-sacrificial love, Jesus promises a remarkable outcome:
"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
(John 13:35)
The church’s witness to the world does not rest on our perfection but on our willingness to follow Christ into this hard but glorious way of love.
If you found this helpful, please consider sharing with a friend or subscribing to our newsletter for more faith-based insights.
Posts
