UK: Muslim comedian says, “I want people to see the funny side of the Qur’an”
So many laughs in the Qur’an! Here are a few:
“And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out; persecution is worse than slaughter. But fight them not by the Holy Mosque until they should fight you there; then, if they fight you, kill them — such is the recompense of unbelievers, but if they give over, surely Allah is all-forgiving, all-compassionate. Fight them until there is no persecution and the religion is Allah’s; then if they give over, there shall be no enmity save for evildoers.” (Qur’an 2:191-193)
“They wish that you should disbelieve as they disbelieve, and then you would be equal; therefore do not take friends from among them, until they emigrate in the way of Allah; then, if they turn their backs, seize them and kill them wherever you find them; do not take for yourselves any one of them as friend or helper.” (Qur’an 4:89)
“This is the recompense of those who fight against Allah and His Messenger, and hasten about the earth to do corruption there: they shall be killed, or crucified, or their hands and feet shall be struck off on opposite sides; or they shall be exiled from the land. That is a degradation for them in this world; and in the world to come awaits them a mighty chastisement.” (Qur’an 5:33)
“When your Lord was revealing to the angels, ‘I am with you; so confirm the believers. I shall cast terror into the hearts of the unbelievers; so strike the necks, and strike every finger of them!” (Qur’an 8:12)
“Fight them, till there is no persecution and religion is all for Allah; then if they give over, surely Allah sees the things they do.” (Qur’an 8:39)
“Make ready for them whatever force and strings of horses you can, to strike terror into the enemy of Allah and your enemy, and others besides them that you know not; Allah knows them. And whatever you spend in the way of Allah shall be repaid you in full; you will not be wronged.” (Qur’an 8:60)
“Then, when the sacred months are over, kill the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them, and confine them, and lie in wait for them at every place of ambush. But if they repent, and perform the prayer, and pay the alms, then let them go their way; Allah is All-forgiving, All-compassionate.” (Qur’an 9:5)
“Fight those who believe not in Allah and the Last Day and do not forbid what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden, and do not practice the religion of truth, even if they are of the People of the Book — until they pay the jizya with willing submission and feel themselves subdued.” (Qur’an 9:29)
“Allah has bought from the believers their selves and their possessions against the gift of Paradise; they fight in the way of Allah; they kill, and are killed; that is a promise binding upon Allah in the Torah, and the Gospel, and the Koran; and who fulfils his covenant truer than Allah? So rejoice in the bargain you have made with Him; that is the mighty triumph.” (Qur’an 9:111)
“O believers, fight the unbelievers who are near to you; and let them find in you a harshness; and know that Allah is with the godfearing.” (Qur’an 9:123)
“When you meet the unbelievers, strike their necks, then, when you have made wide slaughter among them, tie fast the bonds; then set them free, either by grace or ransom, till the war lays down its loads. So it shall be; and if Allah had willed, He would have avenged Himself upon them; but that He may try some of you by means of others. And those who are slain in the way of Allah, He will not send their works astray.” (Qur’an 47:4)
And more laughs regarding terrorism in particular:
“We will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve for what they have associated with Allah of which He had not sent down authority. And their refuge will be the Fire, and wretched is the residence of the wrongdoers.” (Qur’an 3:151)
“When your Lord inspired to the angels, ‘I am with you, so strengthen those who have believed. I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieved, so strike upon the necks and strike from them every fingertip.’” (Qur’an 8:12)
“And prepare against them whatever you are able of power and of steeds of war by which you may terrify the enemy of Allah and your enemy and others besides them whom you do not know, whom Allah knows. And whatever you spend in the cause of Allah will be fully repaid to you, and you will not be wronged.” (Qur’an 8:60)
How have Muslims throughout history understood these passages? They took them as meaning “Give the unbelievers a big hug, chuck them on the shoulder, and buy them a chocolate malt,” right? Unfortunately, the historical record is not quite so full of laughter and sunshine. Find out how Muslims throughout history have actually understood the Qur’an’s exhortations to warfare in my new book, The History of Jihad From Muhammad to ISIS, which you can preorder here.
“Comedian Eshaan Akbar: ‘I want people to see the funny side of the Koran,'” by Samuel Fishwick, Evening Standard, July 25, 2018:
Eshaan Akbar is a diplomatic provocateur.The 33-year-old stand-up is one of the BBC Asian Network’s latest breakout talents. He first made waves on the comedy circuit supporting Micky Flanagan on tour in 2014 but now he’s wading into choppier waters. His latest set-piece, Prophet Like It’s Hot, aims to show the Koran “is actually quite funny” at the Edinburgh Fringe.“If someone kills me for doing this, which a lot of people are worried about, I think it will at least make people sit up and take notice,” says Akbar, tucking into a halloumi burger at Bill’s in Kensington. “I don’t know if I want to die for my job — I’ve got plenty more shows left in me — but what a legacy that would leave, eh?”Dangerously funny, maybe. But there’s plenty of humour to be found in religion, a fact that’s crucial to the show’s mandate of demystifying Islam. “Comedy is an integral part of making people think and feel differently about issues,” he says. “I want people to be challenged, have conversations and feel uncomfortable. Well, fundamentally I want them to laugh. They can feel uncomfortable while in a plush seat and not walking out, hopefully.”Three weeks ago a woman came up to him after a preview show. “It turned out she was on that train at Parson’s Green with the bomber on, and had sat opposite him,” says Akbar. “She was in tears because she said that ever since that incident she’s struggled to reconcile her relationship with people from the Islamic community and the fact of what could have happened to her. So she cried and held me because she said I made terrorism funny. I was able to somehow make her laugh about a quite serious thing, and there’s something wonderful about that.”…Yet Akbar hasn’t been a practising Muslim for years now. This, he says, grants him perspective. “I was raised within the faith but my mum said: ‘The lottery of life meant that you were born a Muslim. I’ll tell you Islam is great but if I’d been Jewish I’d be saying Judaism is great. The same if I’d been born a Christian’. So with that upbringing I was always able to respect everything.”…Akbar still lives with his dad and brother but even that’s comic material. He’s written a sitcom — still in the works — about trying to find love while living with his “housemates”. “They have loads of sex and I get nothing in the show,” he says.Based on real life experience? “Slightly. My brother’s got a girlfriend in America and he’s having more sex than me.” He laughs. “I get no matches on Tinder. None. Muslim Tinder however, aka Minder… oh boy. You can declare how religious you are on there and a lot of girls, when they find someone who’s not religious, they’re like, ‘Oh, hello’. I’m the bad boy. I never thought I’d play that role.”…
Posts
