It is an honor to have you as a member of our subscription service! Share today. #74 | My Life: Engaging SufferingDr. Stephen Phinney: Emerging from the cave of past despairs into the radiant light of Shekinah glory is a journey of disengaging from our old identity.
Listen to the podcast version. A few years back, I was invited to enter an international writer’s contest regarding my real-life experience - an actual vision bestowed upon me in the middle of the night. It was one of the darkest experiences in my life. This experience caused me to embrace one of my life’s Biblical passages. -Dr. Phinney And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. (Joel 2:28) THE WHISPER OF AFFLICTIONHe whispered in my sleep. He called me by name. I awakened as the voice gradually became stronger and whirled around my subconscious. I gazed around my bedroom, expecting to discover the presence of the one calling my name. I jumped from my bed in desperation. The voice spoke again, Come unto Me. And then it happened. My heart began to race as I was fronted with darkness I had not known. A type of darkness that took the air from my soul. Immediately, I was flooded with; I am alone. The darkness pulled me deeper and deeper into a dark passage likened to a vortex of despair. Within moments, I was swiftly ushered into a world of nothingness. I lost touch with the world around me. The silence was like torturous pain. The darkness presented itself as permissible suffocation. I stood still. I was frozen. I began to hear the noises of darkness. Silence began to scream the sounds of evil. Yet this place seemed all too familiar. As I strained to look through the darkness, I saw the morbid entrance to a cave. A small light, like a candle, flickering within the darkness. I was compelled to enter. The air turned cold, comfortless, and chillingly isolated as I passed through the entrance. As I stood in the cave, the voice whispered again. I have called you into the darkness to see the light. I frantically looked around the cave to see who was speaking. While no soul was to be found, I immediately began to see pictures meticulously framed in gold and silver. Within each frame were horrid snapshots of events revealing deplorable deeds I committed throughout my life. Shame consumed my soul. Such shame, without thought, I squeezed my eyes tightly and began to weep uncontrollably. As sadness rolled over my heart and mind, the voice whispered. Open your eyes. Cast your eyes upon each picture, for I am about to reveal the Truth. I obeyed. I tried to lift my feet but found them stuck to the cave’s floor. It was as if thick honey was binding them to the floor. To my surprise, this “thick honey” covered the entire floor of the cave. As I laboriously clopped around, I stood before each picture, studying each as if my life depended upon it. Guilt flooded my soul. I wanted to hide, but I knew there was no passageway back to my conscious world. I was trapped. THE DARK CAVE SPEAKSWhile my gaze was fixed on each picture, pleasure, fear, and disappointment were rooted in my soul. Suddenly, each picture came alive. It was like watching a movie. I heard the words and saw the deeds as if they were unfolding in my presence. On the one hand, I wanted to watch; on the other hand, I wanted to destroy the picture. The fight within my mind was overwhelmingly tiresome. I began to feel like a depleted, defeated warrior on a battlefield. I began to smell the stench of my evil deeds. I became sick. I could not vomit. The sickness rolled around in my body until I began to faint. Then, my worst fear fronted me – I began to suffocate. I couldn’t breathe. I noticed the flickering light sped up, acting like a strobe. Then, lights out. As I stood in the cave, the darkness blinded me. The silence was deafening. The presence of evil rolled in like a dark storm. I heard the laughter of dark evil demons. The laughter was rushing by my ears like the winds of chaos. Suddenly, one of these dark spirits speaks the words my soul has fought. See, you are nothing but a failure. You are a loser, and nobody cares about your anguish. Now you must pay for your sins. The messages from these dark spirits seem to go on for hours. I couldn’t run. I was unable to hide. I was stuck to the floor with the sweetness of my sins. I was held in bondage to the memories of my past. I was suffocating in the darkness I had created. I thought I had been sent to Hell. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of my office - exhausted.Over the next two months, I suffered mental torment that was foreign to me. Cold sweat nightmares plagued me nightly. Questions, doubts, and fears ruled my mind throughout each day. By the end of the two months, I concluded that I was a lost soul going to Hell, minimally a massive disappointment to God. Again, the voice summoned me while in a deep sleep. This time, the voice was deep and commanding. Stephen, come forth. I leaped from my bed and said Here I am, Lord. Before I could get to my home office, I was pulled into this vortex of darkness. I found myself in the dark cave, succumbing to defeat. Suddenly, a brilliant blue light burst through the cave’s entrance. In the center of this magnificent light stood a man dressed in white. His face was radiant, with fire in His eyes, a drawn sword, and a gentle smile. Then, He spoke. Stephen, My Redeemed. I have taken you to the depths of darkness and despair. I called you to cast your eyes upon what you were. I have revealed your madness of framing your past with My cherished metals of gold and silver. No longer visit this dark place in your mind. Use the sword I imparted to you to fight against the creatures of this dark domain. I have set you apart to proclaim who I Am, not who you were. I have given you a new name and identity and called you to walk a less traveled road. Go now, and never return to this dark cave again. Stephen, you are My Redeemed. Who I was is no more. He is all the more. While I have known the principles of the believer’s identity in Christ for many years, this true-to-life experience shifted me into a level of the Deeper Life in Christ I believe few have come to know. Today, I refer to this experience as my “Garden of Gethsemane.” Yes. It was dark, very dark. It was torturous. But, both the Lord and I know that I discovered the light and Life of Jesus Christ in a way that empowers me to draw the sword of the Spirit during those once defeating temptations of visiting the dark cave of my past. True freedom in finding the light often comes from embracing our darkest hours. It is in these moments of struggle and despair that we discover the true power of Yeshua’s Light.When we confront our fears and acknowledge our pain, we open ourselves to growth and redeeming power. The darkness, though daunting, becomes a powerful teacher, guiding us to the “who” that is standing at the entrance of our dark cave. Emerging from the cave of past despairs into the radiant light of Shekinah glory is a journey of disengaging from our old identity. It signifies the triumph of embracing Yeshua, dispelling every shadow of our horrid past. In the warmth of Shekinah, we find healing, renewal, and a renewed sense of the exchange from the old to the new. Leaving behind the weight of despair, we step confidently into the light, knowing that we are held and cherished by the eternal embrace of God's Shekinah glory. This divine light illuminates our new identity and ignites our souls with a passion to live out the light of the Gospel.
Next is #75, “The Galatian Struggle.” Review the full library of “My Life Series” HERE. Share these stories with others. The End Times Chronicles hosts MY LIFE, a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thanks for subscribing to The End Times Chronicles. Your paid subscription helps us advance our non-profit’s mission. Dr. Stephen R. Phinney is dedicated to providing quality media and publications that advance the Life of Christ. Paid subscribers receive free eBooks, media content, and other free stuff.Hey, fellow writers/readers, would you be open to buying me a cup of coffee? Check out this fun way of supporting my writing: https://bmc.link/drphinney
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