Love May Waver, But the Vows Endure
Why the Promise of Christ’s Return Should Shape Every Part of Life.
It’s a story repeated far too often: a young couple, not long into their marriage, now facing the heartbreak of separation. They once pledged their lives to each other, but now they say the love is gone. For one perplexed father, the sorrow is fresh. His son, a husband of just two years with two small children, claims he no longer loves his wife and wants out. The timing is confounding, the motive disheartening. But what if the problem isn’t the absence of love? What if the problem is a misunderstanding of what marriage truly is?
The Foundation Beneath the Feelings
Marriage is not simply a social contract or romantic arrangement; it is a sacred covenant. This covenant reflects the eternal commitment between Christ and His church. In Ephesians 5:25, Paul commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That kind of love isn’t fickle. It doesn’t dissolve under emotional fatigue. It endures through seasons of heartache, misunderstanding, and even emotional numbness.
Research shows that 60% of couples who considered divorce but decided to stay together reported being happily married just five years later. This isn’t coincidence; it’s covenant in action. It’s what happens when people choose perseverance over preference.
Joy Beyond Emotion
Love is more than a feeling. It’s a choice, a commitment, and often, a costly one. Many couples who’ve celebrated fifty or sixty years of marriage will confess that they didn’t feel “in love” every moment of those decades. And yet, their joy today is rooted not in emotional consistency but in their unwavering commitment to keep their vows even in seasons of heartache.
The modern obsession with personal happiness has redefined love as something that must always feel thrilling and fulfilling. But Scripture calls us to something greater: covenant-keeping joy. “For the joy set before Him,” Hebrews 12:2 tells us, Christ endured the cross. Likewise, there is a joy set before us when we choose to endure through difficulty rather than escape it.
Staying married, even in the absence of strong feelings, can yield a joy that self-centered living never will. It’s a joy that comes from walking in obedience, reflecting divine love, and creating a stable home for children to flourish children like that one-year-old boy and newborn baby girl who depend on their parents' commitment far more than they understand.
The True Significance of Marriage
Marriage is not a man-made invention. It was designed by God to portray something infinitely grander than human romance: the unbreakable covenant between Christ and His redeemed bride. When a husband leaves his wife because he no longer “feels” in love, he tells a false story about Jesus a story in which the Savior walks away when His people fail to please Him.
But that is not the gospel. The gospel is that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). He loved us when we were unlovely. He washed us, forgave us, and made us His own. The marriage covenant is meant to reflect that kind of love: enduring, forgiving, sacrificial.
To walk away from a marriage because the emotional fire has faded is not noble. It is not courageous. It is not godly. Rather, the highest significance of marriage is to mirror Christ’s unwavering faithfulness and that significance is never lost, even in the hardest seasons.
Ownership Belongs to God
Perhaps the most sobering truth about marriage is this: it’s not yours to break. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). The union of husband and wife is something God creates. That means we do not have the authority to dissolve it at will. We are stewards of the covenant, not its authors.
It’s the height of our self-focused culture to assume that because we feel unhappy, we are free to undo what God has done. But marriage belongs to God. And unless He ends it through death, we are called to uphold it through life. Paul might well say, “You may break your marriage covenant when Christ breaks His with His church.” That is to say: never.
Glorious Joy Ahead
To the young man contemplating divorce simply because he no longer “feels” in love consider this: oh, what joy lies ahead for those who do not break their covenant, even when their hearts are broken. There is no joy like the joy of integrity. There is no peace like the peace of obedience. And there is no legacy like the legacy of a man who kept his vows through tears, hardship, and grace.
Marriage is not easy. It was never meant to be. But it is sacred. It is significant. And it is worth fighting for not because feelings never fade, but because God never fails.
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