Mattos-Masei (Numbers 30 - 36) GOOD MORNING! All my parenting life I have tried to impress upon my children that everything important in life boils down to relationships. Most readers will read that last sentence and think, “Of course, it’s not what you know, but who you know!” In truth, I mean it in a more all-inclusive way, as I shall explain. Much of the ancient wisdom of the Torah has been distilled into principles of life and ethical behavior and compiled by our sages in the work known as Pirkei Avot – commonly referred to as Ethics of our Fathers. This manual for living a meaningful and principled life was completed about two thousand years ago and the wisdom contained within is quite timeless. Pirkei Avot is part of the Torah known as Mishna – which forms much of the basis of the “oral law.” We find in the very beginning of Pirkei Avot the following statement attributed to Shimon Hatzadik (“Simon the Righteous”) who was not only the leading Torah authority of his generation but also the High Priest in the Holy Temple. (Interestingly enough, according to the Talmud, he once had a chance encounter with Alexander the Great while he was on his way to conquering the world see Yoma 69a.) “The world stands on three things: 1) Torah 2) Worship 3) Acts of Kindness” (Pirkei Avot 1:2). These principles are the three pillars upon which the world is perched. Aside from the fact that they are core values of Judaism, the reason that they are so critical to the existence of the world is that they represent the three relationships that every person must develop. “Worship” represents man’s relationship with his Creator; “Acts of Kindness” represents man’s relationship with his fellow man; “Torah” represents man’s relationship with himself (the Torah represents one’s personal growth from a “rational animal” to a developed person of elevated spiritual status). Just this past week a young undergraduate student in our school asked me a very sophisticated question: “What is the most important relationship we have?” I looked at him with some admiration; at only 19 years old he was grappling with a very fundamental life question. I explained that, in my opinion, the most important relationship to develop is the relationship with oneself. It is also, unfortunately, the relationship that is most often neglected. In order for a person to properly have a healthy relationship with others (or the Almighty) he must first know who he is, have a good relationship with himself, and be at peace with himself. The Talmud (Bava Basra 88a) comments on a verse found in Psalms (15:2) – “(he who) speaks truth in his heart” – as referring to someone who has a true awe of the Almighty. Curiously, the Talmud found it necessary to give an example of such a person: Rav Safra. Rashi, the great Torah and Talmud commentator (ad loc), goes on to explain how Rav Safra came to be the paragon of this virtue. Rav Safra, a well-known merchant, was in the middle of saying the Shema prayer when someone approached him to buy something that he was selling. The buyer proceeded to offer a sum of money for the item he wished to buy. Rav Safra, who was still in the midst of prayers, was silent. The buyer understood Rav Safra’s silence as a reluctance to sell because the sum wasn’t high enough, so he kept raising his offer until it was a very large sum of money. Once Rav Safra finished his prayers, he turned to the buyer and told him that he would sell it to him for the original offer he made. The buyer, shocked that Rav Safra was accepting a much lower price than his final offer, asked him why. Rav Safra explained, “In my mind, I had already decided after hearing your first offer to accept the original amount offered.” Most people are raised valuing the concept of “keeping your word.” Unfortunately, modern society seems to have all but forgotten this ideal; in fact, in some cultures a signed contract is only a basis for opening a new negotiation. In general, this notion of being “a man (or woman) of your word” is seen as being morally binding because, once you give your word, someone else has ownership over your expected performance. In other words, based on your commitments they make decisions and commitments of their own. However, we see from the Talmud that there is really a much more profound reason for keeping your word. The story that Rashi cites has seemingly nothing at all to do with keeping your word. After all, Rav Safra was silent the entire time, he never committed to a price. Why was Rav Safra bound to fulfill the price that he had only agreed to in his mind? | 
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