Faux Problems in 2016: ‘White Girls, Stop Wearing Nameplate Necklaces’

You big, bad cultural appropriationists! “This sh*t is for us!”

11.2.2016

Just when you thought holding down a job, paying bills, and keeping the very fabric of America from being ripped apart were some of the worst problems going, along comes a very REAL problem you thoughtlessly neglected: white girls wearing black girls’ jewelry.

Seriously, that’s a big problem for Collier Meyerson who wrote the column “Nameplate necklaces: This sh*t is for us” over at Fusion. In her angst-ridden article, Meyerson whines:

Nameplates have always leapt off the chests of black and brown girls who wear them; they’re an unequivocal and proud proclamation of our individuality, as well as a salute to those who gave us our names. The necklaces are a response to gas-station bracelets and department-store mugs emblazoned with names like Katie and Becky. But most of all, they’re a flashy and pointed rejection of the banality of white affluence…

For black Americans, names can be a form of resistance to white supremacy. Plucked from our homes in West Africa and forced into chattel slavery, bodily autonomy wasn’t the only thing stolen from us. Our names were stolen, too.

But then HBO’s Sex and the City had to go and culturally appropriate these personalized necklaces and cause all kinds of trouble, at least, according to Meyerson who is sure that’s the first time in her young millennial life she’s EVER seen someone other than herself wear their name on a necklace.

“White girls and women have other stories, but they don’t have ours,” Meyerson’s rant continues. “It never feels like a homage to me when I see a white woman rocking a nameplate. Instead, it comes across as nothing more than an awkward replica—true 'biters' of our sh*t.”

And other writer friends of Meyerson feel the same: “I’m not tryna march or impose a ban, I just see you wack hos for what it is. It’s a look and a look we did to be outside, and now they realized they are boring, so they’re copying.”

Wow, the relentless vigilance of social justice is tiring work!

The last word goes to National Review’s Katherine Timpf, who is currently mortified that her nameplate necklace she wore when she was 10 made her a “wack ho” much earlier than she would've liked:

Now, to be fair, I’d totally agree that white girls wearing nameplate necklaces really aren’t doing it as a “homage” to anyone but themselves, evidenced by the fact that they are literally wearing necklaces of their own names. Unlike Meyerson, however, I don’t think it’s such a big deal. Cultures and trends are shifting all the time, and elements from outside sources are always inspiring mainstream fashion. I’m wearing a leather jacket, which is a look that I “stole” from World War I military culture. That’s right… the leather jacket started as a protective layer for World War I fighter pilots, and I’m just sitting here appropriating the hell out of it without ever having to have known the horrors of active combat. Does that make me a “biter” of WWI veterans’ “s***”? Or does Meyerson need to chill the hell out?