Trigger Warnings: When The Onion Sounds Too Close to Real Life

At this point, it’s REALLY hard to tell the difference.

8.30.2016 

 

News

 

 Trey Sanchez 

 

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We've reached peak ridiculousness on American college campuses when it comes to the social justice demands of safe spaces and trigger warnings for a variety of offenses among the student body. Sometimes, it’s hard to distinguish reality from a joke. You could say that the majority of the progressive insanity playing out right before our eyes is straight out of an article from satire website The Onion.

And this time, it is. We think… because at this point, it’s really hard to tell the difference: 

College Professor Reminds Students It Will Take A Few Classes To Memorize Everyone’s Triggers

Saying he would try his best to learn them all by heart, University of Colorado professor Derek Pollard took a moment Tuesday to remind his students it will take him a few classes to memorize everyone’s triggers. “I always have a hard time at the beginning of the semester remembering what everyone can comfortably talk about, so if you could all write your triggers down on the sheet I’m passing around, I can start putting faces to sensitivities,” said Pollard, who asked each student to help him out by staying in the same seat each week and reminding him what topics are off-limits to them the first few times they are called on. “I apologize in advance if I mix you up and accidentally confuse your triggers with someone else’s; you’re just going to have to bear with me on this. I have 250 students in three classes this term, so it’s going to be a bit of a challenge recalling what I can’t say around each of you.” Pollard added that he also had office hours for any student who would like to individually threaten him with calls for administrative disciplinary action should he happen to discuss a topic that caused them personal distress.

A good laugh is needed now and then. Sadly, this sounds all too real.