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(4) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children
to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
New
King James Version Change your email Bible version
Even though it is not directly stated, we must remember that God
consistently teaches that the strong are responsible to care for the weak. In
this context, the parents are strong, the children are weak. However, parents
must not depend upon their size and strength to demand respect, but should
strive to earn it through strength of character, wisdom,
and clearly expressed love.
The Greek word translated "bring them up" at first meant merely providing
bodily nourishment. Through time its usage extended to include education in its
entirety since bringing up children obviously is more than just feeding a child
food. "Training" is more correct than the weak "nurture" used in the KJV. The
Greek word means "to train or discipline by repeated and narrow exercises in a
matter." It implies action more than intellectual thought and corresponds to the
word "train" in Proverbs 22:6, which means "to hedge" or "narrow in." Thus
God expects parents to train their children to walk the straight and narrow way
rather than allowing them to wander aimlessly about on the broad way.
Paul adds in Colossians 3:21, "Fathers, do not provoke your children lest
they become discouraged." To some degree, all children resist their parents and
what they represent and teach. How parents overcome it is Paul's concern. These
verses testify that many parents strive to elicit their children's obedience and
respect in the wrong manner.
The wrong way provokes embittered, fretful, defensive, listless, resentful,
moody, angry, or sullen children. Paul counsels not to challenge the child's
resistance with an unreasonable exercise of authority. Correction is necessary,
but a parent must administer it in the right spirit, counterbalanced by lavish
affection and acceptance. A twig should be bent with caution.
Firmness does not need to be harsh nor cruel. Punishment should never be
revenge nor dispensed just because the parent is irritated. Severity only
hardens the child and makes him more desperate. If a parent does not use his
authority justly, he cannot expect a child to be respectful. It does not happen
automatically.
— John W. Ritenbaugh
To learn more, see:
The Fifth Commandment (1997)
Related Topics:
Authority
Childrearing
Correction
Discipline
Firmness
Parent's Responsibility
Parents
Provoking Children to Wrath
Punishment
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